~just me~ (wndrdr) wrote in the_search,
~just me~

I am in search for something..

Have you seen what I am looking for?

I lost my sanity somewhere along the way.. and I find myself becoming very irritated and very unbending..

You know, my kids are not the perfect angels I like to think them.. seriously.. they are not.. Jessa is either way to damn quiet or way to mouthy.. Johnny talks talks and talks and never seems to realise we stopped listening a LONG time ago and he tends to wanna be involved in everything we do

William and Ted can irritated the crap out of a perfect saint.. and I promise you.. if Jesus Christ was really the son of God.. and he came to earth right now and into our home.. and happened to decend when William is tired and nothing you do will apease him and Theoder is in one of his moods.. Jesus would jump from the cliff and tell the angels to just let him fall!

But guess what?

I tell William and Ted to go pick up their room, they do it.. I or Mary tell Ted to let the dogs out on the back porch or let them in.. he does it..

We fold colthes and tell the boys to put them up.. THEY DO IT..

Today Jessa cleaned and organized the canned goods cupboard AND.. the larder cupboard.. John did lunch dishes and two loads of laundry (oh yea, remind me to let Mary know the washer wont stop washing ever.. and smells funny)..

THEY help round the house

THEY are not these little brats that can see their parents sick and sit there and do NOTHING..

Even Will if he thinks you are sick will constantly say 'you ok? can I lay with you?" he hears you want something and it's 'wait, i get it joan!'

Theodore is the same way.. John and Jessa will bend over backwards to help if they believe you need it.. from keeping the boys quiet.. supervising homework.. to mopping the floors and even fixing dinner and doing dishes afterwards!


Bellas brood?

They fight, scream, are selfish self centered little brats.. bella begs them for help, and they just do whatever they want.. when she has extra money to pay bills.. if they dont get what they want instead.. THEY THROW TANTRUMS..
Hell Thom threw one in public.. tried to choke his mom.. IN FREAKING PUBLIC

because she wouldnt get him the glassses he wanted.. she didnt have enough money.

The oldest child got a car and she runs around and leaves her mom to work two jobs and care for the house.. and wonders why her mom is sick and exhausted!

Mary and I went there and spent HOURS cleaning, it took me almost 3 hours to clean TWO small bathrooms, it was THAT aweful! We even went out and purchased suplies to do this cleaning, it was that bad..

And the kids promised since we got it caught up, they would keep it that way

17... 14... 12.. you'd think they could at the least, rince their dishes when they are done eating and not leave them for weeks!

So bella comes here, losing it.. crying.. upset.. wanting help.. not sure what to do.. crying and crying

and The oldest girl comes here and acts like she is queen of hte universe... free and fancy clear of any responsibilities..


What happened to my sanity?

Am I wrong to believe that it does not martter your age, a home is a home because veryone works to make it so?

Am I really nuts?

I understand teens being self absorbed.. but they take the cake

and yet.. I am told they are the norm..

please someone.. tell me this aint so?


and you know.. I am in a bad mood, not even wanting to talk to my friends for fear i would snap at them for something not even their fault.. take something wrong.. when they didnt mean it wrong..

I adore bella

but lately

her kids are driving me nuts even when they just come by for a few minutes.

And there aint a damn thing I can do..

not one solitary thing

**while searching for my sanity.. and a calmer self.. maybe I will find fox mulder**
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